Emo Corner: Atty Style!
by WilderCapall
Summary: Quite possibly the most anticipated Emo Corner yet...ATTICUS TIME!  Crackfic, obviously.  Onesided pairing for humor only.


This will be perhaps the most awaited Emo Corner feature yet…

I was begged repeatedly for an Atticus edition, and considering his obsession with flirting, I realized this one could be a gold mine. Plus, everyone loves Atty! It's like impossible not to. I mean, I don't love him _romantically_ (Zane's the only one for me), but seriously, I wanna hug him. Who doesn't?

**Warning:** OOC, but not as much as the last 4. Atticus _is_ a drama queen.

**Disclaimer:** …My brain died; go adopt a kitten. I would, but there are already three cats in my house; my mother would kill me.

**Emo Corner: Atty Style!**

Zane was still king of my corner, was he was having to fight for it.

Atticus was crying huge anime fountain tears and hugging Zane, sobbing. Zane was attempting to concuss him with a toaster.

Yes, a toaster.

How did Zane get a toaster, you ask? I have no idea.

"Atticus!" I yelled. "What is you _problem_!?"

He looked up; Zane put down the toaster.

"HE DOESN'T LOVE MEEE!!!" Atticus wailed. "_WHY_?!?!?!?"

"Get _away_ from me you psycho!" Zane yelled.

"Um…I _really_ don't want to be a shrink again," I said, "but if I really have to…"

"Oh, THANK YOU!" Atticus cried. "I need someone to _talk_ to, and my best friend won't help me!" He glared with shiny, sparkly, tearful eyes at Zane, who picked up the toaster and waved it threateningly.

"Oh dear god…" I muttered.

"I don't mind the fanfiction," Atticus began. "I mean, if people think I look smexy with another guy, it's okay. I certainly don't mind Chazz, and even Jaden's fine I suppose. BUT ZANE WON'T HUG ME!" he screamed miserably.

Zane was headwalling.

"Maybe because you were kind of attacking him and crying all over him? Have you not noticed he's drenched?"

I myself was momentarily struck speechless as I processed this, and stood in awe of Kaiser's unrivaled smexiness. His soaked, semi-transparent shirt—

0-0

We're sorry; the authoress has passed out from a nosebleed. Please wait while she is revived by a few smacks on the head with a wet towel. In the meantime—

"_WHY WAS THERE BACON IN THE SOAP!?_"

"_I MADE IT MYSELF!_"

—enjoy this Invader Zim clip.

0-0

While I was revived, Zane had somehow magically dried off his clothes and Atticus was screaming girlishly for some reason.

"Whoa…was that whole Emo Corner thing just a dream?" I wondered.

"No," said Zane.

"Oh. Oops."

"MY FICCY!" cried Atticus.

"Okay, OKAY!" I yelled. "What's _wrong_, and WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO EVICT ZANE FROM MY CORNER!?"

"HE WON'T HUG ME EVEN THOUGH I SHOWED HIM FLUFFY STARSHIPPING!"

Zane was headwalling again. It took all my willpower not to join him. I settled for facepalming and shaking my head.

"Zane, you're denting the wall," I said.

"I—" _whack_ "—know."

"Why does my sister get all the attention? WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME ZANE?!?" Atticus wailed. "And some to think of it, WHY AM I STILL AT THE ACADEMY?!? IT'S A HIGH SCHOOL, DARNIT!"

"Your sister's a camera-hogging Sue if you hadn't noticed, Zane has his own problems, and I don't know why you're still at the Academy; probably because Takahashi-sensei thinks fangirls will kill him if you leave," I said.

Atticus had starting rocking back and forth on the floor.

"Oh, what _now_?"

"Boloney. Zane doesn't love me because of boloney."

"Oh. Kay. I'll admit that could be part of it. You may also have to embrace the possibility that he's just not interested."

"How could anyone not be interested in MAH SEXAY BOD!?"

There was a large hole in my wall. Zane's eyes were slightly glazed over.

"ZANE!" I screamed. "YOU'RE HALF-KILLING YOURSELF _AGAIN_! STOP IT!"

He looked at me reproachfully.

"I'm trying to lose consciousness."

"If you succeed, Atticus is going to try the Kiss of Life. You remember last time…"

Zane shuddered.

"What is _wrong _with him? He was _drowning_; it meant _nothing_."

"And yet he still tried to slip you the tongue."

Zane shuddered again, eyed the wall, and thought better of it. He settled for taking deep breaths and muttering, "must…never…lose…consciousness…around…best…friend…"

"DRACA!" I yelled. "YOU'VE SCARRED ZANE FOR LIFE AGAIN!"

"Oops," she said.

"GAH! How did you get here?" I asked.

"Oh GOD, not HER!" Zane yelled.

"YAY, WHITELADYDRAGON!" Atticus squeed.

"Inter-fanfictional wormhole," Draca said.

"Works for me!"

"THANK YOU FOR YOUR WONDERFUL FICCY!" Atticus shrieked.

"Oh, spare me," Zane muttered.

"NEVER!"

**END**

Okay…well, Draca, I hope you don't mind me dragging you in for a cameo. Okay, so REVIEW PLEASE! I hope you enjoyed this latest insanity!


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